So I read the article by Keri Tibbetts’ on Parenting at http://headgates.org/resources/. I found myself agreeing with all of it, I think. I skimmed it really, and will give it a more thorough reading to see for sure if I do agree with all of it. Keri basically interprets Cline and Fay’s Love and Logic discipline program and combines it with her LDS perspective of “teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves.” I have always followed that approach in my discipline. Tell them what you expect, and what the consequences will be for their choices, and then follow through. I call it parenting according to how God parents.
When I was a new parent, I read Dr. Sears’ writings on spanking and decided not to spank because of what he wrote. I had my first child and did spank him a few times, out of desperation. Then I would always feel bad afterwards. I decided not to spank any more. I remember reading in Alma in the Book of Mormon where the word had more effect on people than the sword. I decided that I wanted to use my words to convince and persuade my children to do what’s right instead of force or the sword, i.e. spanking. Then I had more children. I noticed that certain children had more stubbornness than others. I found myself spanking them rarely because it seemed like nothing else would get through to them. La Leche League teaches “gentle discipline” as one of its core beliefs or Ten Concepts and I have always felt that meant no spanking so I would feel somewhat guilty spanking them since I am a La Leche League Leader.
(please click on the discussion forum tab above and then go to the discussion on spanking to read more)