Last weekend my daughter Virtue got to attend the Etiquette Simulation sponsored by the Royal Academy of Zion. See http://royalacademyofzion.org/default.aspx It was Friday afternoon and evening and all day Saturday. Her ticket was her main 16th birthday present. They got to hear cool speakers like Lani Hilton, author and wife of John Hilton III (dh’s cousin once removed) and learn about manners, refinement, men’s and women’s roles, and ballroom dancing. Then they got to practice all of their learning with a banquet and ball, an “etiquette simulation.” Both Valor and Virtue went last year and loved it so much, they begged me to put on one for the youth where we live. So I did a similar one, last spring, and hope to do another one next spring. Maybe this next time I will use real china and not Chinet like they did at this one. Valor really wanted to go this year but he is away at college.
I asked my daughter who she danced with for the last dance and she didn’t even remember. I thought all girls remember the last dance.
My husband and I went on a date Saturday night to our commonwealth school parents’ meeting and then we drove the hour to pick up her and her three friends from the etiquette simulation.. (A commonwealth school is a school for scholar phase, owned by parents into Thomas Jefferson Education.) I was so happy we got there before it was over so we could take pictures.
We had a great talk in the car sans kids, to top off the great meeting we attended. It was all about the Wild at Heart and Captivating books. These books are written by a husband and wife respectively. Although I don’t agree totally with their interpretation of Christianity, especially the Fall, I value the message they share about male and female roles and that Christ can heal all of our wounds through the atonement, so that we can better fulfill our roles and have a family that we get love and joy from. In the car as we talked my husband shared something that he hadn’t shared before that gives me more of a clue in knowing what’s going on inside me. All because of the meeting about these books.
According to these books, a woman most fears being abandoned, and a man most fears failure. A man desires to fight and win a battle, rescue the beauty, and have an adventure. A woman desires to be romanced, to be the beauty who is rescued, unveil her beauty, and to be the irreplaceable role in a great adventure. i agree.
Sometimes as we grow up we get wounded and those wounds hide our desires. When men are wounded they sometimes start posing instead of showing real strength. The presenters showed a video clip from the movie The Kid, starring Bruce Willis, to illustrate this. When women are wounded, they become either dominant or desolate.
The people who presented the meeting we went to were a marriage counselor and his wife from Liberty, Utah. They put on retreats based on the two books. They also said that many times our kids are sent to us by God to push open our wounds and help us deal with them.
We are so blessed by God to have a Savior sent to us to rescue us from our wounds. We don’t have to carry the burden of our wounds any more. Here are some other gems of what they said:
- When you wound your kids and then realize it, talk to it and say something like, “I sorry I hurt you. What I did was wrong. I acknowledge that. God’s helping me with it. I talked to Him today about it and I asked Him to forgive me and I hope you will too. Will you please forgive me?”
- Your children will respond more to seeing you change than seeing you talk about changing.
- A father is a son’s first hero and a daughter’s first love.
- What’s the adventure God wants to share with you as a couple that He wants you to share with your family and others?
I thoroughly enjoyed the night! I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful events happening in my life. Thank you God!