Dates With God, Chapter 8: Part 2, Jill’s Letter #8

Oh dear! I am late again with posting my “episodes” from my new novel, Dates With God. With two boys playing football, homeschool, homeschool co-op, parties, and all my other stuff, I am glad I have Monday to catch up on these posts! Here’s Jill’s Letter #8 in which she discovers how to avoid arguing with her husband and the power of family history and temple work. To get background information about the Chemical Scale, read Like Dragons Did They Fight by Maurice Harker.

Jill’s Week #8

Dear God,

 

It’s been helping me a ton to track what Level on the Chemical Scale that I am feeling. As my letter shows a last week I do get interrupted sometimes and don’t always get it all written down. It has helped me so much though to see that I have legitimate chemical shifts in my body that I am up against. It’s a relief to know that it’s not just me. I am not going crazy. It’s satan working hard on me.

What is my hour of day when I am most vulnerable to satan’s attacks? That would be the afternoon, no, I think morning, no, lunchtime, no, wait! It’s all day! Waaah! I want to cry when I write that. It seems like I am hit all day every day except for maybe when I am in church. I always feel so secure and safe and peaceful at church. I feel stress and overwhelm every day all day Mon. to Sat., and often on Sunday as well outside of church. If I had to choose though, I would have to say that it depends on my goal. I am also realizing that I can have lost battles for those things that aren’t even officially my Girl Goals. For my unofficial goal of not fighting with Rob, I would have to say that my most vulnerable time of day is in the morning when we are both getting dressed. After 18 years of marriage I have finally noticed a pattern that I have “lost battles” for the unofficial goal of having peace with him, in the morning, before 9 AM. I haven’t dared make “not fighting with Rob” a Girl Goal because that would set me up for failure. At least for now, because I feel like I am not skilled enough or have enough knowledge to fight back yet and win in those vulnerable moments. It’s something in the back of my mind I want to have as a daily goal when I have learned better how to quickly get back to Level 0 on the chemical scale.

 

I would like to get my internal alarm to go off between Level 2 and 3 on the Chemical Scale. I would love to say that I could learn how to always stay at Level 0 but I don’t know if that’s humanly possible because satan is always there throwing darts at us.

 

So how am I going to fight back? In the long-term, finish the homework for this class. I am not even caught up with completing the homework, but I’ve decided that in addition to finally doing the homework it would be extremely helpful to ask myself in writing, right after I say my morning prayer, the same question every day from the Captain’s Log of questions and that one is Question #6. Answering that question will help me stay one step ahead of satan.

 

Can I ever be not just one step ahead of him, but insulated from his influence? Actually I do remember hearing Elder Richard G. Scott say in General Conference that if you want to eliminate the influence of the adversary, do family history and temple work. I wonder what the exchange ratio is? One hour of work equals one hour of no attacks? I will have to experiment. I have an aunt whose husband was addicted to porn. She struggled with what to do about it. Looking back, and knowing what I know now from this class, satan was probably really working on her, telling her lies all day every day, like it was her fault because she is not beautiful enough or that she’s worthless. I remember her telling me and my mom that it was after she and her kids had done temple baptisms twice a week for a few months with names that they found on their family tree that she finally got the courage to ask her husband to move out until he was ready to change. So how did she finally have the courage? Maybe satan’s influence was blocked by the influence of the spirits of those she was doing the work for? Maybe the spirits not only blocked satan’s voice but also encouraged her? I don’t know for sure, but I like that idea.

 

So back to my telling Thee about my goals and vulnerable times of day. Like I wrote, I’ve learned to stay clear of Rob when he’s getting dressed to get out to work in the morning. Wallah! Our frequency of fighting went waaaaay down! I’m amazed at how such a little change can make such a big difference. I thank Thee for helping me do the homework and giving me a desire to finally embrace the knowledge from this class and fully engage. Sometimes it just takes me a while to get through the distractions. I’m also so grateful that Thou helps me to see patterns, as Thou seest.

 

I thank Thee God for speaking to me as I answer the Captain’s Log of Questions. I know that Thou art all-knowing and I am not. The cool thing, however, is that I can tap into Thine knowledge, if it be Thy will, by honoring Thee with an obedient heart shown by obedient actions, AND if I take a moment to be still and connect to Thee. When I take the time to quiet my mind and focus my body on actually doing the Power actions including at least one Captain’s Log question as part of my journal writing, then I get my questions answered. Not always right away, but the answers do come.

 

I never want to be cut off from accessing Thy knowledge and protection. I thank Thee for allowing me to have such power and I thank Thee for The unequaled gift of Thine Only Begotten Son that gives me such power, along with my Power Actions.

 

I thank Thee God,

Your adoring Daughter, Jill

 

Copyright 2015 Celestia Shumway

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