Tree of Life Mothering

Hi Sisters,

I hope you are enjoying the summer with your families! Public school may be out, but we are doing our summer homeschooling thing of a little bit of math and reading for the love of learners, work and play for my little children, and intense studying and some work for my scholars, every day. I am not taking the summer off either for my brain but am delving into de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America. It is such a fascinating read. Someone once said that if you haven’t read Democracy in America you are a wimp. Since I am usually up to intellectual challenges, I invite you to celebrate America’s upcoming Independence Day by studying this classic work about liberty in America. Knowledge of what is in this book will help us to preserve the tree of liberty. I used to think, “How could what a rich French guy who visited America over 100 years ago possibly be relevant to me today?”

Was I mistaken. Did you know that de Tocqueville made many statements that still ring true today? He was startlingly prescient. He wanted to know why a democratic revolution in America lead to liberty and why one in France led to tyranny. His insights are uncannily accurate. His chapter on liberty of the press totally applies to the bloggers of today. He said that Americans have a hard time understanding what they can’t see, hear, taste, or touch and therefore they don’t care much for philosophy. He also said that religion and morality keep law in check. He declared that because of the morality and industry of the Puritans who settled New England, the idea of self-government found fertile soil in America.

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

“I can conceive of a society in which all men would feel an equal love and respect for the laws of which they consider themselves the authors; in which the authority of the government would be respected as necessary, and not divine; and in which the loyalty of the subject to the chief magistrate would not be a passion, but a quiet and rational persuasion.”

If you would like to join me for an online colloquium, join me on Tuesday July 20 at zorap.com. This is a free online chat room where we can discuss by voice or text. If you want to find out if you have the necessary hardware, go to http://zorap.typepad.com/weblog/getting-started-with-zorap.html.

Because this is such a dense work, we will break it up. We will follow this schedule, meeting the third Tuesday of every month from July to November. Note that some editions of the book call the “parts” books.

Volume 1 Part 1 (165 pages) on Tuesday July 20 2 PM

Volume 1 Part 2, chapters 1-8 (99 pages) on Tuesday August 17 2 PM

Volume 1 Part 2, chapters 9-10 (135 pages) on Tuesday Sept 21 2 PM

Volume 2, Parts 1 and 2 (136 pages) on Tuesday Oct 19 2 PM

Volume 2, Parts 3 and 4 (142 pages) on Tuesday Nov 16 at 2 PM

If you are going to do this please reply to celestia_shumway@yahoo.com so I can send you updates and reminders.The above schedule is tentative and may change due to unforeseen circumstances. As a mom, you all know what I mean by that!

Happy reading!
Celestia

“When you say something unkind, when you
do something in retaliation, your anger increases.
You make the other person suffer, and they try hard
to say or do something back to make you suffer,
and get relief from their suffering. That is
how conflict escalates.”

“When we embrace anger and take good care of
our anger, we obtain relief. We can look deeply into
it and gain many insights. One of the first insights
may be that the seed of anger in us has grown too
big, and is the main cause of our misery. As we
begin to see this reality, we realize that the other
person, whom our anger is directed at, is only
a secondary cause. The other person is
not the real cause of our anger.”

When I was young, it seemed that none of my peers wanted to admit to being good. It just wasn’t fashionable. I say, it’s time to change that. The future of our lives, our families, and our republic depends on it! Virtue is the true source of power, freedom, and happiness. Sages of the ages knew this. Our Founding Fathers knew this. Our prophets have always known this. It’s time to help our youth gain an unshakable conviction that virtue is fashionable. Montesquieu knew that the best government is a republic, not a democracy, and the best education for citizens in a republic is one that inculcates virtue.

I am so excited about this…please spread the word to those parents and youth who you think will appreciate these firesides and follow the requests.

You are invited to two special Virtue Firesides with exceptional presenters:

Dan Ralphs and John Hilton III.

June 13 Virtue in Education

What is Virtue and why was it sought and prized by sages through history? How can their passion to find and dream of a life lived according to
truth inspire us in our own quest to apply principles of virtue? You
have access to living water and a holy grail that has been sought
through all ages of time. What can you do to experience and maximize
the power of virtue in your education so you can experience a life
filled with the blessings wise men through the centuries could hardly
dare to imagine?

Dan is a native of Ukiah, California. He holds a Master’s Degree in Education from George Wythe University. A popular speaker and
presenter, Dan has provided educational, leadership, personal success
and political seminars to groups throughout the nation and world. He
most loves his work mentoring high-school age students at Lexingburg
and Williamsburg Academies. Dan and his wife Allison reside in Enoch,
Utah with their three children, Jay, Malia & Caleb. You can find
out more information about Williamsburg Academy at
https://wacademy.org.

July 11 The Virtue of the Word of God

You have been saved and reserved to come to the earth in this day and time and entrusted with essential and critical missions to combat the
enemy of everything good with power only available to the virtuous.
What can you do day by day to ensure you are wearing the armor of God
and accomplishing your unique mission? Come learn how to tap into
the seemingly small but supernally significant essential habits of
private religious behavior that will have “a more powerful
effect…than the sword, or anything else (Alma 31: 5)”!

John Hilton III is a religious educator with degrees from Brigham Young and Harvard Universities. John frequently speaks with Especially for
Youth, Education Week, and Time Out for Women and Girls. John and his
wife, Lani, have four children and live in Orem, Utah. His
publications include: DVD
Video
Isn’t
Being Good Good Enough? Raise the Bar, Increase Your Spiritual
Strength
Books:
Why?:
Powerful Answers and Reasons for Living LDS Standards, Please Pass
the Scriptures; I Lost My Phone Number, Can I Have Yours?: Pick Up
Lines That Don’t Work, Scriptural Advice That Does!; How Essential:
Skills for Living the Gospel; The Little Book of Book of Mormon
Evidences; CDs
I Can Do Hard Things; Dating and the Plan of Happiness: What Every
Teenager Should Know; The Dog Ate My Scriptures: Excuses, Agency and
Responsibility. For more from John, visit http://ldswhy.com,
http://johnhiltoniii.com.
John’s products are available through Deseret Book.

What you need to do to be able to participate in these life-changing, transformational presentations:

1) RSVP to mbsmithhome@yahoo.comwith names and ages of those attending (our priority is youth
seating: fireside is for invited guests only ages 12-19 with one
parent per carpool) 2) Bring a munchie, fruit or veggie tray, or
dessert to share 3) Bring scriptures and note-taking materials 4)
Wear modest church dress 5) Strength of Youth Standards behavior
expected 6) ARRIVE between 6:30 and 6:45 to take your seat. We will
START PROMPTLY at 7:00 pm. 7) You are invited to send questions about
virtue according to the dates listed to our presenters with “virtue
fireside” in the subject line: Dan Ralphs (dralphs@wacademy.org
now-6/ 10) and John Hilton III (johnhiltoniii@byu.edu
6/27-7/8) that they will consider in preparing their presentations.

These two amazing men are sharing their significant gifts out of love for you and commitment to their personal missions. Their passion, talent
and messages are beyond monetary value. At the same time, they are
fathers supporting their families. Please bring (or mail ahead to
Michele Smith at the address below) a donation to thank them and help
them out with their travel and time invested. We suggest $5.00 per
youth per speaker; whatever you can contribute will be appreciated.
Also, check out and consider investing in the exceptional products
they have created.

Firesides at the Home of the Smith Family: 4853 Mountain View Circle, Highland, UT 84003 (Take the Highland/Alpine Exit E off I-15, Travel East
towards American Fork Canyon on SR-92, Turn Right on Lone Peak
Parkway (4800 West), Take the First Right on Panorama Drive, and an
immediate left onto Mountain View Circle. 2d house on the left).

Janeen Brady (see britemusic.com) has this darling song about going to Grandma’s house and finding treasures. I always feel that way too when I take my children to Grandma’s house. Of course, it helps if Grandma is a packrat. Which she is. She recently bequeathed to me my book bag from kindergarten, homemade, with a colorful pelican lovingly appliqued by Mom. Honestly, I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, as I am struggling with letting go of the stuff I already own in this house of 1700 square feet and 9 people. Anyway, I also love taking my kids to their Auntie Em’s house. Em (Emily) is my baby sister (all of four years younger) and her house is full of treasures. I always come away from a visit with her feeling so nourished. Her home is full of happy, apple-cheeked youngsters and wholesome delights. We share a love for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, great books and tending the hearth.

In her first life (before marriage and kids) she was a children’s book illustrator. You can see one of the books she illustrated here: http://lernerbooks.com/cgi-bin/books.sh/lernerpublishing.p?navaction=f6_title.w&navvalue=1575051834 She also did some picture for the LDS children’s magazine, The Friend. She spent some time in NYC where she worked at the children’s bookstore that is featured in the Meg Ryan movie You’ve Got Mail. So she tells me stories about meeting famous people in that store, like Julia Roberts or Hilary Knight. (The illustrator of the Eloise and Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books- and FYI, he’s a man.) She has four little children ages seven and under and I have three five and under so they have a jolly time playing together. My two middles, ages 8, and 12, come when we visit on a weekday since they are homeschooled and not scholars and they have a barrel of fun as well.

Everywhere I turn at Em’s house a treasure just beckons to be examined. Which is to be expected since she is an artist. I found an old Polariod of our parents on her mantle from the 70s.I had to look at it twice as I did not recognize them the first time! My dad actually had a mustache and my mom’s hair was really dark. They looked almost like hippies! Em has so many fun old-fashioned books on her shelves. She has a collection of Thyra Ferre Bjorn books. I read Thyra’s trilogy last spring and summer: Papa’s Wife, Papa’s Daughter, and Mama’s Way. They are so charming and encourage faith in God. Thyra tells of her wholesome, picturesque life growing up in Sweden in the country as a daughter of a preacher, and then emigrating to America with her whole family of eight kids and parents. If you ever feel like renewing your core phase, your faith in God and fellowmen, read Thyra’s books. These books hearken back to a simpler, more delightful time in America, pre-1960s. If you are looking for a totally magical summer read, you can’t go wrong with one of these little-known classics.

My sister Em even has some autographed copies of Thyra’s books. How cool is that? (Really cool, in case you don’t know who Thyra is.) I felt like I was examining George Washington’s signature as I stared at this page.I thought I had read all of Thyra’s books but I haven’t, and Em loaned me her copy of one I haven’t read yet, called This is My Life. I am so eager to read it. I tell you, the way to capture that Christmas feeling year round as a mom is to have a never-ending list of books you can’t wait to read and recipes you can’t wait to bake. But first I am finishing Running With Angels and some others.

But I didn’t go to Em’s to look at books or her artwork. I have seven children and for years and years I have taken them to Target to get their pictures taken. For the first year of their life I used to take them every month to get the portraits. After seven babies, you can imagine that it was getting somewhat tiresome. On our last visit, my baby cried every time I plopped him down on that cold floor amidst the bright lights. It was definitely not conducive to smiles. “There has got to be a better way!” I thought. “Oh yeah,” I remembered, “I’ve been meaning to get Em to take these.” I could take my baby to Em’s house and ask her to be the smile-maker and taker. She has a fancy extra nice camera. He would be so much happier on a soft comfy couch with a simple sheet for a backdrop amidst happy cousins.We could take the digital images and print them out somewhere. So, that’s just what happened. I decided to get all the kids’ pictures done, except for the two oldest, who were away at their Shakespeare Showdown camp. Em and I are both going on trips out of town over Memorial Day so I told her she could email me the images when she gets back. I will share some of them here.

Ever since I heard about the lost American ideal of being Georgic from Oliver DeMille, I have pondered how to incorporate it into all the aspects of my life. If you want to know more about Georgics, go to fourlostamericanideals.com.

My husband become self-employed after I heard this talk, and it is definitely what kept me going through the cycle of feast and famine that is common to self-employment. But there’s so much more to being georgic than being a small-business owner, or the wife of a small business owner. It means taking charge of your life and being self-reliant in all areas. It means that you don’t just sit back and take whatever life dishes out to you. It means being like the Little Red Hen. Actually, you don’t have to do all the work yourself. It means knowing that you can do it yourself or contract with someone besides the nearest big box store, even, or especially, if it is your baby sister and it’s a better deal. Today’s technology is so exciting. It makes it so easy to be georgic. Youtube, wikihow, and wikipedia make it so easy to learn any terminology or skill.The benefits of being georgic are fourfold: you save money, you are in charge, you have less impact on the earth, and you have more fun at the same time. But you don’t always save time. There’s a trade-off, and only you can determine the balance that works for your family.

Let’s see… being georgics,
in regards to
-infant feeding…means breastfeeding, check, got that
-feeding ourselves, it means cooking from scratch and gardening. and canning, and raising our own meat, milk and eggs, WHOA… still working on that one
-birth control, it means NFP, check, got that one down too,
-education, it means homeschooling, got that one nailed,
-finances, it means being not only self-employed, but independently
wealthy, still working on that one too.
-in entertainment, it means making our own fun instead of submitting to the Hollywood conveyor belt. We don’t watch TV, but we are still working on watching fewer DVDs. But my kids do make their own plays.I would like to do more singing around the piano and reading aloud.

Vernie DeMille gave a talk at my conference last year on how to garden with little children. Just click on recordings at the tab above and you can order the download of the talk.

Check out these fun books on being a more georgic homemaker: Creative Family Fun and Handmade Home, both by Amanda Blake Soule at soulemama.com.
Don’t get overwhelmed thinking you have to make your own laundry detergent, underwear, electricity, and shoe polish all at once. It’s just fun to look at these pictures and dream about being a little more self-reliant, and then just take one step at a time. Maybe you too will find or even make your own little treasures on the way.

You know how sometimes you have this big event planned and you look forward to it for a very long time, and then it comes and disaster happens? You have this grand picture in your mind of how it will be and you just figure that everyone in your household has the same picture and will swimmingly move into place with simply a nod of the head from you, even rascally little boys who only want to play in dirt all day.

Last week was my oldest son’s big deal graduation from TJYC. That stands for Thomas Jefferson Youth Certification. He was been taking classes from the LEMI Commonwealth Schools here in Davis County for five years, and the TJYC is the last class. (see http://thelemi.com/apprentice-scholar) I have been looking forward to this time for years. Every graduating class has a night with speeches from each of the TJYC students about what they learned over the previous semesters. TJYC is usually three semesters but his mentors love the work so much they made it into four. The course is so grueling that half of the students usually quit. The students who finish can receive one credit of work at George Wythe College. They study literature, history, leadership, worldviews, and Supreme Court cases. It is a huge accomplishment to finish. So we have been looking forward to this celebration for years. After the speeches, the families go out to a dinner to celebrate and visit. We have been to previous years’ speeches to inspire him and now it was his turn to be inspiring.

So last Monday was the big night. After a change of venue, lots of thinking to make this work with our big family of nine, and being gone all day chauffeuring children to other homeschool commitments and running errands, the night was here. Yes, Monday is typically reserved for FHE but Monday was the only night the scholars had free with all their other end of the school year commitments. We couldn’t afford to take our whole family out to dinner so I had made the plan that I would have a nice meal fixed for the five middle children before we left. We would start getting ready at 6 PM, start going out to the car at 6:15, and then be at the restaurant by 6:30. After my son’s speech, my husband would take the five middles home for their dinner and then my husband and son and I with baby in tow would eat with the other celebrants.

Well, by the time I got home from driving all day, I wanted a little rest so that pushed back having dinner ready. It was almost ready though. The dinner could finish cooking while I was gone and my capable 14 year old daughter would serve it. I went upstairs to change my clothes into something nicer at 6. Have you ever read Leadership and Self-deception? That book talks about getting little insights or glimmers of light. I got one just then. It was that my children needed a reminder to get themselves ready. I was assuming they could read my mind and knew to get ready at 6, but in reality, they weren’t. So I called out to my husband to ask them to get ready. I could hear him doing that and assumed that he was looking into the boys’ room to make sure they were all there getting ready. NOT. He spoke through a closed door, which I didn’t know at the time.

Well, so later I am scrambling around, taking care of a few things and it occurs to me that I haven’t seen two of the kids for a while. I call out to them and don’t get a response. Where are they?!!! It turns out they were outside, playing in the irrigation ditch. AARGH! We called them in, scolded them, and they hurried to get changed. I feel like this child of mine is always so clueless, going off and forgetting to ask permission to go outside. I was angry at him for doing that and I was angry at me for thinking he had picked up my timetable to leave by osmosis. It was true that I had never told him face to face what I expected of him and when, so I let go of my anger and took the accountability on my part.

My desire to have children nicely dressed and to calmly stroll in as a perfect family parade on time was thwarted. I had assumed that my husband made sure every boy was in the room getting ready. In that moment of finding out my son was at the irrigation ditch I realized my husband had done the same thing I was doing…calling out but not engaging in face to face leadership to make sure that all were accounted for.

So I learned my lesson. Don’t assume, ask for exactly what I want, and follow up. Myassumptions are a clue that I might be on the road to self-deception. Not only that, but ask and follow up face to face, especially when delegating. I just read an article about the importance of face to face leadership by an LDS scholar. You can read it here.http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=2589
The first example the author cites is of a man whom I have met and even had dinner with him in his home. He is a great man and now I know one of his leadership secrets that contributes to his greatness. The author also cites the example of Joseph Smith, as one who consistently exercised face to face leadership. Of course, the ultimate example is Jesus Christ. When I read the account of his face to face leadership in this article I felt a witness from the Holy Ghost of how true and wonderful His leadership is.

As we walked into the restaurant, I realized my picture of a beautifully dressed family parade was jarred. We were slightly late with a son who had mismatched socks and cut-off shorts and a daughter with clashing colors (turquoise blue and orange, YIKES. She has this thing that she only likes to wear shirts with ‘stand-up’- collars…and sheesh, she’s only four…her strong tastes for “fashion” that collide with mine are worthy of another blog post). I took a big breath and enjoyed the evening anyway, both because of the leadership lessons the students shared and because of the leadership lesson I learned from home. It’s true that the greatest work you ever do will be within the walls of your own home. That works first starts within the walls of our minds, in following those little clues or glimmers of the light of the Christ.

These are pretty good. The ones I made were a little too thick I think. Next time I’ll try to roll them thinner, and use two big cookie sheets.

Wheat Thins

1 3/4 cup whole wheat flour

1 1/2 cups white flour

1/3 cup oil

3/4 tsp. salt

1 cup water

Mix flours together. In separate bowl, beat together oil, salt, and water. Add liquid mixture to dry, mixing well but as little as possible. Roll as thin as possible on unoiled cookie sheet–not more than 1/8 inch thick. Mark wiht knife fo rsize crackers desired, but do not cut through. Prick each cracker a few times with fork. Sprinkle lightly with salt or onion salt if desired.

Bake at 350 degrees until crisp and light brown, about 30 minutes.

Serve plain or with some homemade apple butter. YUMMY!

For more recipes (includeing apple butter) from me, check out my examiner page here.

My last post was so long and doesn’t have any personal pictures. I am sorry about that. I know how hard it is to read lots of plain type with no pictures. I have some really great ones of my baby, our trip to the Homestead crater, the walk we took of downtown SLC to see Brigham Young’s grave, and of my younger children on Mother’s Day. I kept meaning to add some but my camera and computer were making it hard because their dates weren’t in sync. Let’s just say that when my scholar phase children have lots of Shakespeare play practices during an infamous “heck week” (the week before the performance) my tech help is gone. When they are home and I can ask them questions I feel guilty for pulling them away from studying.

So I put some fun photos of me and my children that I can actually access in this post even though they don’t have any thing to do with the topic, other than they are of me and my kids and I am writing this.

If we don’t properly prepare the whole grains, nuts, and seeds then even if we are eating them and being smug about being on a whole foods diet, we can become sick with digestive problems and mineral deficiencies, like osteoporosis and tooth decay. The article says that your neighbors next door could be eating Wonder bread and white rice and feel healthier than you. It’s because they are eating food that has zero phytic acid, while your whole food does. Wow, finally an excuse to eat some white bread and white flour besides the fact that they taste better!

This info on phytic acid is overhwhelming to digest and even think about putting into practice. I have been soaking my grains for a while but not my flour. And I haven’t been soaking my grains in yogurt or whey, which is what NT recommends, just water. I have not been soaking my nuts and seeds and now I am wondering how I am going to deal with peanut butter since that’s a staple and it’s made from unsoaked nuts. I guess this means granola bars are bad and fresh nuts and seeds and…oh, boy, is there anything fresh that’s safe to eat besides rabbit food? I am eager to learn the “how-to’s” of all of this with a big family to care for…so enter Caralee, mother of six, going on seven, who also homeschools and knows my time demands.

Every woman, especially a mother, needs this information! When you are armed with correct information, you can make the best food choices for your family. You can be independent of the “conspiring men” that God mentions in Doctrine and Covenants 89. You can have the fullest health possible. I used to think that these conspiring men were those of the tobacco industry, but now I think it includes anyone who is willing to put profit before people’s health, including those behind lots of food at the grocery store and even so-called “health food” at the health food store. Let’s not get sucked into buying food that is actually bad for us.

Also, let’s not get sucked into the lines of the “diet dictocrats” as Sally Fallon calls them. These are the people who say that animal fats, the good fats from from raw milk of pasture-fed cows and eggs from pasture-fed chickens, are bad for you. Cholesterol has a purpose! Veganism and vegetarianism have a place, for those who want to cleanse for a time. But they are not diets that can be sustained for a long, healthy, fertile, growing time. A mother, especially one who is in for the long haul of bearing and nursing many babies, and growing children can’t thrive long-term on those diets. When I was still vegetarian with my fifth baby, I remember my midwife practically ordering me to eat some eat. She said that she had studied the issue and was aware of women who had problems with their births and their babies because they were long-term vegetarians. If you want some great recipes that involve animal fats and whole foods (although I don’t know if it’s totally NT correct) check out the Diet Rebel’s Cookbook at gettingrealwithfood.blogspot.com.

Every mother, from the time her baby is in the womb, is the link between food and her family. Since food is the biggest determining factor in health, you are the link between your children and good health. The diet of a pregnant woman can lower the chances of the baby having low birth weight and premature birth and the mom having toxemia. See blueribbonbaby.org. The Weston Price people have even more specifics for a pregnant and nursing mom’s diet and say this diet can prevent birth defects. See westonaprice.org/Diet-for-Pregnant-and-Nursing-Mothers.html (I am not thrilled about the liver recommendation but next time I’m pregnant I want to do their diet. Hey, maybe I should start now since I am nursing.) Then when the baby comes, mom gets to choose between her milk or artificial milk. Artificial baby milk increases the risk of your baby getting sick and you getting ovarian and uterine cancer. Your milk makes your baby smart and healthy.

I know this position of responsibility and attachment to your children through food can be overwhelming to think about, but it’s also a great, God-given honor and one that, with God’s help, we can embrace and fully live up to. It does say in the LDS Church’s Proclamation to the World on the Family that a mother is primarily responsible for the nurture of her children. That’s true women’s liberation, to live up to the role God gives, and be liberated from conspiring men who don’t care about your or your babies’ health.

I hope you all had a Happy Mother’s Day. I did, complete with a surprise
breakfast in bed served by my sweet husband. He even scooped my baby
out of our family bed at 7:30 AM when baby woke up to go fix the
breakfast, and I was left to joyfully sleep in with no baby noises, the
only day so far of this baby’s life when I have been able to sleep in
past my baby’s wake time. So much happened in my life last week that I
am still processing it all. We had a marriage retreat, our first night
of leaving our oldest in charge overnight, then we went on a walking
tour of SLC with some friends, and then my firstborn went on his first
date to go ballroom dancing. Wow! Then it was Mother’s Day, with all of
the emotion that accompanies that day.

It occurred to me that I haven’t said much about AP (Attachment
Parenting) since I started my other blog, even though I mention it in the
banner (see celestiashumway.com). I guess that’s because after having seven babies, it comes very
naturally to me and it just seems like the default, de facto way of
life. Some would say it ties a mother down even more than normal
mothering does. I say it liberates a mom because it gives her peace of
mind in her parenting, knowing she is giving her baby the best start
possible. It also liberates a baby to rise up to her full potential
because it meets all of the baby’s needs in the most emotionally
intimate way possible.

I first heard about AP when I was pregnant with number one and was
working at the U of U med school. I stumbled across the book that first
laid out AP, The Baby Book, by
Dr. and Mrs. Bill Sears, at the U of U bookstore. I consider it
providential that it was first published the year I had my first baby in
1993. I bought the book and brought it home and announced to my husband
that I really liked this philosophy of parenting and wanted to do it.
He read about it and liked it and we have been baby bedding together,
babywearing, and baby bonding ever since. He even bought our first baby
sling. If you don’t know about AP, click here http://askdrsears.com/html/10/t130300.asp

Since then I have been able to hear Dr. Bill and Martha speak a few
times in person at LLLI conferences (see llli.org)
and have become enamored with them even more. Martha is even an LLL
Leader, like I am, so that just makes her feel like family to me. I even
got so close to Dr. Bill that I could have gone up to him and spoken to
him like a fawning groupie but suddenly my shyness took over and I just
didn’t want to. My shyness didn’t overtake me with Martha however on a
separate occasion and I asked her a question. She was so friendly, she
even gave me her phone number so I could call her and ask more
questions!

AP just seems so natural to me. It’s a no-brainer, the way babies and
parents are supposed to live harmoniously together, with the least
amount of tears, fear, and anxiety. My LDS faith (lds.org) with its belief in eternal families
gives me the “why” for attachment. We can’t have a fulfillment of
happiness, heaven, or even love, unless we are eternally sealed to our
husband and our children, as well as to the Eternal Father and His Son,
Jesus Christ. AP gives me the nuts-and-bolts, “how-to” of family
attachment in the real, everyday world. Physical attachment with my
babies facilitates and precedes emotional and eternal attachment as they
mature. At one of these LLL conferences I heard someone quote an old
Jewish proverb, “If you get up with your children when they are young,
they won’t be getting you up when they are old,” meaning, respond to
your babies’ cries when they are little, and chances are that they won’t
be causing you to get out of bed when they are teenagers. Of course,
free agency is always at work and I do know some families who practice
AP who still have wayward children but the risk of that happening goes
down. At least these parents have peace of mind knowing they did what
they could for their children when they were young by practicing AP.

Some people say that AP takes too much time and makes the baby spoiled. I
disagree. It is an investment in happy, mature, peaceful children. I
don’t have time to go into all the tangents that AP can get me off on,
like gentle discipline and no circumcision. But I found a great blog, drmomma.org, that pretty much sums up my
views. Yes, you can still have obedient children, a life outside of
children, a passionate marriage, and not go crazy if you practice AP.

Whenever I read about suggestions to leave your baby for a
marriage-building retreat, I cringe. You can just take your baby with
you! Last Thursday I got to have a quick overnight getaway with my
husband. We left everyone home but the baby. I don’t even like reading
that you have to leave your baby to go on evening dates with your
husband. I do remember a line from Sheila Kippley in her eco bfg book
that suggests you take the baby with you and that’s what I do. At one of
the first LLL meetings I went to I heard from a veteran mom (this was
when I only had two kids) that as long as you leave the big kids home,
it feels like a date, even if you bring the baby. I totally agree. Ever
since then I have been bringing the baby with me on dates and
overnighters. Once they start walking then I leave them home.

We used to leave our oldest home all the time when he was a baby to do
dates and business meetings and I regret that. It would have saved a lot
of stress on me to just stay home with him or bring him with us.
Despite all the separation I did maintain my breastfeeding relationship
with him until he was a year old, by pumping and leaving him a bottle.
When I see moms leaving their babies for overnighters or days at a time,
I feel sad. Forget about saving the earth, save the breastfeeding you
have going with your baby. I’ve since repented and now take my baby with
me or stay home.

Every year my husband gets two free nights of a hotel stay to go
participate in a conference for his work as a parental public defender
attorney. Out of something like seven years since he’s been doing this,
this was only my second time to go with him. It’s a great free
marriage-building retreat so I would love to do it every year. Last time
it was at the Homestead when I went (fiver years ago) and this year it
was at the Zermatt. Usually I am too busy with carpooling duty or
momschool teaching to go. But this year we figured out how to sandwich
my escape between chauffeuring my oldest child to his leadership
education econ class and his speech and debate class the next day.

We had such a delightful time away! We had some great conversation and
watched the movie Fireproof. Lately my baby has been crying a lot in his
car seat on car trips, which is so nervewracking for an AP mom. I got
the brilliant idea to stop and buy a teething biscuit after I dropped my
scholar son off in Bountiful and that was just the ticket to a blissful
baby car ride. (Blissful baby = sleeping baby = happy mommy who can
listen to de Tocqueville wax philosophical about liberty of the press in
Democracy in America as I
drive through Parley’s Canyon). So I got to Midway with no screaming. We
took a walk in this freezing cold Utah sprinter (spring + winter) to
the Homestead across the street. We went through the tunnel to this
hollow crater on the Homestead property that has a hot spring where
people can scuba dive. Then we went shopping to buy our dinner. On the
way back to the hotel I nursed baby with him still buckled in his car
seat.

He fell asleep on this ride home. Hooray! It was 8 PM. Now we could have
some time alone without tending to any children at all. He stayed
asleep the rest of the night. (He did wake up to nurse a few times in
the hotel bed but then went back to sleep so I still count that as
“sleeping through the night.” Yes, you can cosleep or bedshare and still
have a baby who sleeps for decent chunks of time and doesn’t “nurse all
night long.” More on that another time.) We had a lovely visit talking
about almost nothing that relates to our shared household, our children,
or homeschooling, as we dined. I didn’t even feel guilty that I was
missing the end of year meeting for the north Davis county commonwealth
school that my two scholar phasers attend. We did talk about who we
thought would be elected to next year’s board for the school. Then we
watched Fireproof, a movie on DVD starring Kirk Cameron, which we hadn’t
seen yet even though it’s ages old.

Yes, I pretty much live in a cave when it comes to movies. I just shun
most of what the Hollywood conveyor belt churns out, because it’s mostly
garbage. But Fireproof doesn’t come from the typical Hollywood studio.
It’s made by the people who did Facing the Giants. See
fireproofthemovie.com. If you haven’t ever watched Fireproof, do it for
your next date night. It is a fabulous movie and totally clean! Not only
that, it’s based in faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthens
marriage by encouraging people to turn their marriages over to Christ.
Every married couple should watch it and discuss. (I thought the acting
was great but missed reliving the glory days of late 1980s primetime TV
with Kirk Cameron since my husband is a baby boomer and barely
remembers Happy Days. )

My husband told me a story that put a smile on my face. He left a lady
speechless with something he said. At the same his conference was going,
so was another. It was for some association of perinatal social
workers. So in the vendor display area there were booths and tables for
vendors selling things for babies and those who are social workers for
babies. One of the booths was for Abbott Labs, one of the main ABM
makers. (ABM = artificial baby milk, or SIN, synthetic infant
nutrition). My husband said, “You know, my wife is a La Leche League
Leader, so babies and nursing and breastmilk are very prominent in my
home.”

One of the vendors for Abbott Labs smiled and said, “Oh yes. We here at
Abbott Labs are very much in favor of breastmilk. We promote it all the
time.” (Yeah, right….as long as they have their foot in the door, or
their pricey can of ABM in your “free” hospital diaper bag, offering it
“just in case breastfeeding doesn’t work,” and then they get you
dependent on it.) To which my husband deftly replied, “Oh, well, my wife
would slash your adversting in a heartbeat because it violates the WHO
Code of Marketing Breastmilk Substitutes.” The vendor opened her mouth
but nothing would come out, and her sales partner next to her patted her
arm and said, “He’s got you there. Don’t even bother going down that
path. ” My husband told me the story and it got me thinking about the
WHO Code. I have become less in favor of the UN and government
regulation in general lately since reading Richard Maybury. I am going
to have to ask my LLL Leader friend who is also a John Bircher how she
reconciles the two.

I could just picture myself angrily tearing down their posters and
throwing their cans in the garbage. Not! My dear husband sometimes
translates my zealous opinions into militant action. I’m generally not
that assertive. Just for the record, you can be an AP mom and use ABM,
even Dr. Sears says so, although it does take conscientiousness to be an
AP bottlefeeder. ABM does have its place, especially for babies who
simply have no access to a mom or a milk bank, like these poor babies
helped by perinatal social workers probably. But I agree with Dr. Jack
Newman, a medical doctor who specializes in breastfeeding (drjacknewman.com), that ABM should be
treated like a drug that requires a prescription. It has risks to both
baby’s and mother’s health and side-effects. Breastmilk from the mother
while nursing, then pumped milk from the mom, then pumped milk from
other moms, then ABM is the hierarchy I follow. Wouldn’t it have been
cool if there had been a booth at this perinatal conference for a milk
bank, LLL, or the people at asklenore.com
who help adoptive moms with breastfeeding?

The next morning I got to go to breakfast with my husband as part of his
conference. Lo and behold, who should we end up sitting with but Joyce
Kinmont, homeschooling mom guru and founder of ldshea.org. She volunteers her time helping
parents who are fighting DCFS and likes to go to conferences like this.
One of the guys who shares office space with my husband, Don Redd, was
also there. Don’s wife Karen was there at the breakfast table as well,
and she is one of my heroines. Here is a woman who has borne 16
children, yes 16!, and looks not only perfectly normal to be a mother to
so many and a grandma too, but she is also beautiful as well. She just
retired from singing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I look at her and
what she is doing in her later season of mothering now that her youngest
is 12 or so and it reminds me that there is a season for moms to
develop their talents with more focus than in interrupted blocks of
time.

The breakfast table discussion fascinated me. It was attorneys mostly
talking, along with Joyce and two of the wives. They were basically
saying that the state system that professes to protect families actually
breaks them up. So then the talk went to, well, it’s not just that the
system is messed up, it’s the culture of today with the broken
families. One attorney there said that families are going down the
tubes, especially since moms are no longer home all day. He said that
moms don’t even have to eat breakfast with their children, they can just
send them to school for free breakfast. Then they have free lunch, and I
thought to myself, a lot of kids don’t eat dinner with their family
either. They forage for their own dinner of cold cereal or microwave food
and eat in front of the TV. So it just reinforced my desire to share
the idea of eating with your children. If you want some inspiration,go to thefoodnanny.com.

Five out of five stars.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but graphic design, pretty colors, attention to fonts (type and size), nice line drawings, and boxed quotes in the margins made me eat this book right up.

Funny thing is, the content is not much better than that of Deliberate Life, but I gave it 2 more stars….

Things I learned in this book:

I can get my Brussels sprouts to get bigger by picking the leaves off the plant once the sprouts have developed. *THAT’S* how they do it….

It’s too bad I don’t drink beer, because making home brew sounds like a lot of fun.

Muscovies are known as “quackless” ducks because they are relatively quiet.

There’s tons of information on eggs – determining freshness, how their quality changes with the age of the hen and in relation to molting. And you can *freeze* eggs by cracking, slightly scrambling, mixing in either salt or sugar, and freezing individually. Also, Sex Link breeds of chicken are call…more I’m ashamed to admit it, but graphic design, pretty colors, attention to fonts (type and size), nice line drawings, and boxed quotes in the margins made me eat this book right up.

Funny thing is, the content is not much better than that of Deliberate Life, but I gave it 2 more stars….

Things I learned in this book:

I can get my Brussels sprouts to get bigger by picking the leaves off the plant once the sprouts have developed. *THAT’S* how they do it….

It’s too bad I don’t drink beer, because making home brew sounds like a lot of fun.

Muscovies are known as “quackless” ducks because they are relatively quiet.

There’s tons of information on eggs – determining freshness, how their quality changes with the age of the hen and in relation to molting. And you can *freeze* eggs by cracking, slightly scrambling, mixing in either salt or sugar, and freezing individually. Also, Sex Link breeds of chicken are called that because they are certain hybrids whose chicks can be sexed (you can tell the gender) as chicks by either feather color or some other feature.

I never thought I could actually grow wheat or rye in my backyard, but I could if I wanted.

Landscaping with edibles (fruits, berries, etc) is called “luscious landscaping.” Makes you wanna go plant something right now, doesn’t it?

Don’t you just love this picture? It captures the spirit of community among mothers. Getting together and learning from one another while our little children play. I took this at my girlfriend Caralee’s house at one of our new moms as mentors meetings.

I am so thrilled beyond belief to have met my new NT (Nourishing Traditions) mentor, Caralee Ayre. It is the hand of God that brought us together. I know that God recognized I had a desire to learn more about how to implement the NT into my busy mom of seven, homeschooling life, and he has honored that desire by moving Caralee to my area. (She says they moved here for other reasons but I selfishly think it was all for me…just kidding!)

About 10 years ago, I learned from Diane Hopkins, owner of Latter-day Family Resources (see ldfr.com) about NT. This is a cookbook full of recipes based on the “nourishing traditions” of our ancestors. They ate some animal fat, from animals that were treated humanely and allowed to feed on green grass in the sunshine, and they soaked their grains to get rid of the phytic acid. Phytic acid is how God allows beans and grains to stay shelf-stable for so long and not spoil but it also interferes with the ability of the body to absorb minerals. These native peoples also used lacto-fermented vegetables. They were healthier than our current population, which has countless chronic diseases that our ancestors never heard of, like diabetes, heart disease, rampant tooth decay, and cancer. Diane wrote an article in her newsletter about her switch from being vegan to using animal products. She felt she had been duped by the promoters of veganism. This article affected me greatly, and helped me to switch from being vegan as well. Another time I will write about my vegan journey.

So I heard about the dangers of veganism from Diane and around the same time I had a second witness from Rebecca Wood. Her website is rwood.com. She is an author of two books on food, one of which won a Julia Child award, and a consultant about whole foods. She grew up in Ogden, Utah on whole foods: peaches from the orchard, fresh trout from the river, tomatoes from the garden, etc. She was a vegan for 20 years but she still got cancer. That got her wondering and she did some research as part of her healing journey. I got to take a cooking class from her and heard her tell her story. She said that in her research she found that generations of people the world over shared five features of their diets. She uses these five criteria to determine if a diet is a fad or based in historical nutritional traditions. 1. Whole food, including some animal products, 2. Regional, seasonal food, including animals that can be raised locally 3. Easy to digest, 4. Whole grain-based and 5. Fermented food, such as kefir, yogurt, umeboshi, or pickles.

I learned from Rebecca the idea of food that nourishes versus food that feeds. Nourishing food leaves one feeling satisfied and peaceful, with the appetite for sweet and salty, crunchy and soft all sated and balanced. Food that doesn’t leaves one feeling full, but not pleasantly satisfied. Well-prepared homemade food can be very nourishing, and commercialized food tends to be more of the feeding but not nourishing type.

After hearing these two witnesses I dutifully bought the Nourishing Traditions cookbook. There it sat on my shelf. It is such a huge tome of a cookbook that it is overwhelming. I wanted to make bread from it but the instructions seemed too hard. I also bought the companion book that inspired Sally Fallon to write the NT cookbook, Nutrition and Physical Degeneration, by Dr. Weston Price. It is full of pictures comparing indigenous people the world over who continued with a native, whole foods diet versus the white man’s industrialized diet of white bread, white flour, and white sugar. The first group of people enjoyed vibrant health without tooth decay, and they had straight teeth, wide dental arches, and beautiful faces. The latter group had tooth decay, crowded teeth, and less beautiful faces due to smaller dental arches and pinched nostrils.

My girlfriend Shauna once casually mentioned, at one of our Veggie Gals dinners, that she had a soaked grain bread recipe written by a woman named Caralee who was trained by the Weston Price foundation to be a chapter leader.That caught my attention and I got one of the recipes. I tucked it in my cookbook for the day when I figure out how to fit bread making into my life after soaking the flour the night before. I don’t have a Bosch bread mixer nor a big counter space to work with dough so making bread seems overwhelming and messy to me when combined with a nursing baby and homeschooling.

Fast forward about seven years. We had a day at Shauna’s home, listening to the incomparable Janeen Brady of britemusic.com (see post from December 2009) play piano and sing with her daughter. They sang new songs from Janeen’s new CD, Time to Times (timetotimes.com), which teaches the multiplication tables, as well as old Brite music favorites. When it was over, the horde of people left except for a few of us closer friends who Shauna allowed to stay and eat a lunch we had brought. Caralee was one of these friends. At last, I finally got to meet her! She moved up to Davis County from South Jordan, so now she lives about 20 minutes away from me! We had a tender visit full of love along with Shauna and Janeen’s daughter, Michelle Stone, author of the Celestial Education DVDs (I will do a post about that soon).

Caralee felt inspired to start her own brand of Veggie Gal type dinners up in our neck of the woods, north Davis County. Some moms meet together once a month and we have a potluck lunch and then have a discussion about an article, usually a talk from an LDS Church leader. Now I can visit Caralee in her own home and see the master at work. She is a beautiful, vibrant mom with happy beautiful tow-headed children. Three boys and three girls who look straight out of Sweden with their gleaming blond hair just like Flicka, Ricka, and Dicka and Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr. I can call Caralee anytime with a question. As my girlfriend Tara from happyinthekitchen-withtara.blogspot.com says, “Here,” (putting her hands on Caralee’s shoulders) “is a treasure-trove of information.” I agree wholeheartedly. Caralee has been studying nutrition since she was fifteen. She is a kindred spirit. I have been studying it since I was sixteen, when I first bought a copy of Harvey and Marilyn Diamond’s Fit for Life book. That book inspired me to become vegetarian.

Just by perusing Caralee’s bookshelves I came away with a wellspring of knowledge. She has DVDs of Sally Fallon teaching her principles. The URL printed on the DVD packaging was newtrendspublishing.com. I went there and found some free interviews with Sally Fallon on mp3 files that I have loved listening to.

Caralee was vegan for many years. She ended up with really bad health problems, including tooth decay. When she switched to a diet that included high-quality animal products, her health improved dramatically. Using cod liver oil and dairy oil that contains the X factor discovered by Dr. Weston Price, she was able to heal many cavities in her teeth. I can’t wait to tell you more of her story in her own words, which I will be doing over the next few months. She says that the cod liver oil even helped her have a pain-free labor! This is what I have been searching for! So stay tuned, either here, or at my other website www.treeoflifemothering.com. I will be posting in both places about her story. I will include her recipes, including the soaked-whole wheat flour bread dough recipe that can be used for flat bread, muffins, cinnamon rolls, rolls, and bagels. Yummy! This bread makes wheat much more digestible and compatible with the Body Ecology Diet since it doesn’t use yeast.

Posted by Celestia at 4:23 PM