I just finished a stint as “Granny Nanny” with my third-born grandchild who was born last month. I so enjoyed all the new baby vibes! The visit was also a reminder of what homeschooling mom Jamie C. Martin says, that newborn babies are the world’s worst roommates.
Ah, yes, so many memories of early mothering days with my newborns came flooding back to me during my stay. Chief among them was the memory of wishing that my babies came with a switch to turn them on and off at my will. What new parent hasn’t wished that a baby would eat and cry when it’s only convenient? Oh, how I remember being in the bathtub soaking up the relaxing hot water when I heard my firstborn, less than a week old, crying as he woke up in the other room. In that moment, the enormity of the reality of motherhood finally sunk in as I realized, “Noooo! He can’t already be awake! I’m not done with my bath. This is the end of my freedom! I can no longer take a bath as long as I want to!”
During my Granny Nanny visit, the new dad to my new grandbaby, my second-born son, gave me great thanks for taking care of him and being his mom. Now that he is experiencing the end of his freedom, he sees how much I sacrificed. It’s so sweet to hear the gratitude! As I saw him interacting so lovingly with his new son, I definitely felt it was a “paycheck for mama” moment.
I showed the same son this video below to share Dr. Harvey Karp’s “5 Ss” from his book, The Happiest Baby on the Block. This is the closest thing to having an on/off switch for a baby, to turn off crying and get the baby to sleep. Or a magic wand for a fussy baby.
I first heard about Dr. Karp at a La Leche League International Conference. His 5 Ss have since become revered Treasured Words of Wisdom for me, almost right up there with the Holy Word of Scripture.
I followed the Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting practice of nursing in bed and co-sleeping with all my children, having found Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book when I was pregnant with my firstborn at the University of Utah bookstore. I never mastered the skill of nursing in bed, advocated in the book, with my firstborn but got it right with all the others. After I mastered that skill, I eventually found out that sometimes, nursing in bed means that the baby won’t sleep if not nursing, or if mom is not right next to her after the mom leaves the bed. Nursing in bed worked well with Baby #2 and #3, but with Baby #4, he didn’t sleep as well with that trusty trick.
I’m all for AP, having not only perfected nursing lying down, but having learned to nurse in a sling, and/or wearing the baby in a sling, while doing dishes, fixing food, and folding laundry, amongst other business. Even I, however, one of Dr. Sears’ biggest fangirls (I have heard him speak in person and bought/read a lot of his books), have my limits for AP and multi-tasking. There are just some activities/events that you want to do while the baby sleeps for a good chunk of time, detached from the breast!
I used the 5 Ss on my last 3 babies. Doing so gave me a lot more sleep while still preserving the breastfeeding relationship and without tears. Dr Karp’s book featuring the 5s, shown above, combined with Elizabeth Pantley’s book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, made mothering those last three babies a breeze. The 5 Ss really work! If the baby is hungry, the S of sucking on the breast or bottle allows the baby to calm down and get fed. If the baby is already fed and burped, and tired, then the other 5 Ss, including nonnutritive sucking on breast or pacifier, work to help the baby drift off to sleep. If the baby is already calm, then great, let the baby be quietly alert. You can’t force the baby to sleep with the 5 Ss if he’s not tired. At least the baby is calm/happy. Thank goodness babies have a short wake/sleep cycle. Eventually he will get tired. I noticed after having 7 babies that babies younger than three months tend to get tired after being awake from 2-3 hours, and that they could sleep at least a 5 hour stretch from birth during the night, with me using the 5 Ss. I learned that after the baby has been awake 2-3 hours and shows signs of tiredness (yawning and droopy eyelids) the 5 Ss will work to get him to sleep, and keep him asleep longer, about 2 hours, than if you hadn’t used Dr. Karp’s method. When you are a new parent, sleep is as precious as gold! Practice these tips and everyone will get more sleep!
You young moms have it soooo easy! I used to use a blow-dryer for white noise, for “shushing” one of the Ss, back in the pre-tech dinosaur days. I even burned one out after using it with two babies 18-months apart. I would run the blow dryer and rock the baby in the car seat, with the baby all swaddled up in a blanket. No need for blow dryers now. Now you can just pull up white noise in YouTube.
There’s even this thing called a Snoo that combines all the 5 Ss in one package. It’s a bassinet with a built-in straitjacket, er swaddling thing, that rocks and plays shushing noise. For only $1695! My daughter had one with her first baby. I was so envious, I just thought, wow, what I would have given for one of these. This is so much better than using a car seat (to rock the baby in), a blanket, and a blow dryer. It’s expensive but totally worth it if you can spring for it. If you plan on having a lot of children, I consider it a wise investment, especially for those first three months when new babies make a lot of weird noises as unintentionally rude roommates, which makes it harder to share sleep right next to each other the whole night through. The Snoo can fit right up against a bed, making it easy for mom to access the baby for nighttime nursing in bed, allowing her to put the baby back in the Snoo when done nursing.
Please know there is help for getting through nights with new babies without tears on the part of the baby or the adults. I hope these tips helps someone out there. May you all get more sleep in those early days with your precious new miracle!
Tree of Life Mothering 