Tree of Life Mothering

My husband and I fortuitously stumbled upon this movie last weekend. It’s always a gamble when we pick out movies to watch for our date-at-home every weekend. I just hate getting disappointed by a movie! If I’m going to give two hours of my life away I better get a great, memorable return that nourishes my soul. We are one of the rare couples who don’t have Netflix or Amazon Prime. (We have had Prime off and on though the years. Right now it’s supposed to be “off” but last time I checked somehow I was showing up as a Prime member. Hmmm….whoever gifted it to me please ‘fess up so I can thank you!) We sometimes get DVDs from the library, either old classics we’ve already seen and sometimes new ones, either ones based on what we are reading or interested in. or random ones that grab our attention while at the library perusing. Usually, we find something free on the Internet.

I sometimes do some kind of preview by Googling the title and reading whatever I can find about it, but even then, I don’t usually know if I’m going to like it unless I start watching at least 5 to 10 minutes and then I start to feel invested and want to watch the whole thing, and then, occasionally, I get all the way to the end and realize that it was complete brain candy. I’m OK with brain candy every once in a while, but I can’t handle it every weekend. As a Carol Tuttle Type 4, I am very much into meaning and substance. You can see my list here of some great clean movies I’ve found in the past few years that are romantic enough for a date night. Lately, I’ve taken to going to YouTube and searching for “romantic Christian movies.” That usually gives me the substance I’m looking for.

I used to just do a general search for Hallmark Movies on YouTube. Lately though I’ve been slightly disappointed though. They aren’t always the substantial movie I’m looking for, meaning, sometimes they are complete brain frosting, not even brain candy. But, I was pleasantly surprised last weekend when I came across the movie featured above, called, “Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade.” It’s the perfect married date night movie.

What I love about it:

• that it takes place in Chicago, so there are some fun cultural references to the Windy City
• that it’s about Thanksgiving, that one holiday that gets so dwarfed by Christmas. Let’s hear it for more Thanksgiving movies! (My birthday and my older daughter’s birthdays are close to Thanksgiving so I am partial to it.)
• beautiful Autumn Reeser, who plays Emily, the star
• Emily’s outfits, so vintage, from the 40s-50s. I wish I could have them all!
• handsome Antionio Cupio, the male lead, who plays Henry
• the theme of finding love unexpectedly
• that Emily is honest when her first boyfriend doesn’t live up to her expectations
• that Henry is such a great guy, as he doesn’t take advantage of Emily when she gets in a vulnerable situation
• that we don’t find out about Henry’s past until the very end
• that it shows a modern woman who really wants to get married and settle down and have a family
• that Henry and Emily have the same background, but they don’t know it
• the chemistry between Emily and Henry is definitely zingy
• that Henry learns that it’s OK to let people find happiness in their own way, as Emily teaches him when she says to just be OK with having a “nutty movie night.”
• the acting is great
• it’s clean
• Emily shows how to increase romance by building up anticipation
• the idea of the “Starlights,” a group of long-married couples that Emily admires, because they meet monthly to practice ballroom dancing to dance in the Thanksgiving Day parade
• that Emily loves old-fashioned things like romance, Thanksgiving Day, parades, Santa Claus, family, love, enduring marriage,  and vintage clothes, including lots of dresses, skirts, pillbox hats and Peter Pan collars.

I give it five out of five stars! We actually watched it for a date “morning” movie, instead of date “night,” as a change of pace. We had a rare Saturday when we didn’t have to go anywhere other than chauffeuring one child to get a ride to a youth temple trip. (Thank you football season for being over! No Saturday morning games till next year!) We got up for family morning scripture time, took the child to his ride from the church building, then the rest of us went back to bed with two kids actually going back to sleep. (It’s so great to have kids at the age where they actually want to go back to sleep in the morning!) Then dear hubby and I watched the movie in bed for our weekend date. Since it was morning, for once, we didn’t fall asleep, like we often do, now that we are old, when we attempt movie date nights!

It’s so important to have dates with your husband. Even if you don’t have money to go out, you can always have some kind of date at home. Trust me, I know, because I’ve been doing cheap date nights for YEARS at home.  Here’s a podcast episode I love from Ramona Zabriskie about the importance of date night, even at home. Consistency in having it every week, leading up to it with anticipation, and variety, are the keys!

Here is a great vlog by Jordan Page of funcheaporfree.com about how to do date night when you have lots of kids. I cut the first 8 and a half minutes off to get to the point of how and why date night is important. (Fun fact: last summer during our family reunion at my parents’ cabin I looked up at the family photos being shown on the big screen TV while we were all chatting. I saw a photo of my nephew’s wedding reception. I thought I saw a woman who looked like Jordan Page sitting at a refreshment table. Turned out it was her! I got to talking with my sister and found out my sister’s son got married to one of Jordan’s husband’s cousins.)

Reading aloud this book every fall to at least my youngest child has become a tradition for me. It’s such a refreshing story of a child who finds comfort in a gift from the earth, a butternut squash, of all things! Forget a plastic baby or Barbie doll, a tattered security blanket, a tolerant cat, or a pampered dog. Sophie’s heart is all for her precious squash that she picked out at the farmers’ market. I love the gentle message of the seasonal cycle of life and the sensitivity of wise parents. The illustrations are whimsical and so suitable for the story. It’s the perfect book that captures the odd predilections of childhood. The sequel is pictured below and it is just as delightful! In fact, I like it even more because it shows the power of friendship, as Sophie’s world enlarges to include more than her beloved squash as she goes off to school to navigate the world of random classmates.  Five out of five stars!

We did it! We had our All Saints’ Day Celebration last night.

We gathered around the “electronic fireplaces” (laptops/iPad) as a family to discuss the Saints Vol. 1 book. I had wanted to do it on Friday, which was officially All Saints’ Day,  but my 15-year-old wanted to go to the last high school football game of the season. (His team won, btw, and is going to the playoff.) My two homeschooled, seminary-aged children and I have been listening to a chapter a day in the Gospel Library App on the way home from seminary every day.

So three out of the four older children who live out of state connected with us via zoom so we could discuss it. Here’s the backstory behind our discussion. I gave everybody plenty of warning (over a month’s time) that I wanted to do this. Like good adult children should,  they humored me by coming and talking about it. First we played “Guess Who?” where we gave clues as to someone in the book and the rest of us had to guess who it was. This book has so many heroes as well as a few scoundrels. The scoundrels’ names even sound rascally, like Abner and Philastus. (My apologies to any nice Abners or Philastuses out there.)

Here are some of my favorite heroes from the book:

• Joseph Smith, Jr. because he always stayed faithful to what he said he saw and that the Book of Mormon came from God. Also because he sacrificed so much and obeyed God, even when it was hard, like with plural marriage.
• Lucy Mack Smith, because of her motherliness and her ferocious leadership. Once she stood up to a man who was treating her and her family wrongly. Another time she called upon the Saints to exercise faith so that their ship could get through ice and be on their way. So they prayed and the ice immediately cracked and they were on their way to Kirtland. Hooray for mother bear chemistry.
• Joseph Smith Sr. for always believing his son, with his wife, just mentioned. Also for working hard and being a great example of a father.
• Jane Manning
• Hyrum Smith, for being humble to follow Joseph when he found out he had preaching against plural marriage but Joseph had been practicing it
• Amanda Barnes Smith, for her leadership in using herbs to heal her son’s bullet wound after the Haun’s Mill Massacre
• Elijah Able
• Wilford Woodruff
• Louisa Pratt, for willingly letting her husband go on a mission when she had four small children to take care of

I wasn’t with it enough organizationally to make a cake, to crown off the celebration, much as I had wanted to. We will just pretend the cake I made below for my anniversary is what we had last night, haha. It’s sugar-free and gluten-free, basically the THM Trimtastic Chocolate Cake.

Next year I plan on stretching out the celebration. We will do Heroween on Halloween night and talk about heroes in general, then on All Saints’ Day we will discuss Saints Vol. 2, then on the Day of the Dead, Nov. 2, we will talk about some of our dearly departed ancestors. I just saw on Facebook one of my high school classmates celebrated the Day of the Dead. He and his family created displays with mementos of ancestors. It’s so important that we remember those who have gone before us, who lived the truth and died nobly for the cause of Christ.

I have loved listening to the Saints podcast. It gives so much insight. These Saints were just like us, imperfect, yet full of faith. When they followed the Hero Journey/Covenant Path, God helped them be more than they could be on their own. We have the same opportunity today!

We started this one in June, in scribd, on audio, and finally finished. Delightful, but I must say, my mind kept wandering. My 13 year old loves it the most. I plan on finishing the series. Great for building kids’ vocabulary.

For Mastering Knighthood, my 10 year old boy’s love of learning club at our Commonwealth (homeschool co-op).

Ditto.

This one is a fall tradition for me. So fun!

So I don’t agree with everything in this book, because of the Universal Model, below, but the illustrations are gorgeous.

This one is soooo charming! Ms. Rosenthal is one my favorite picture book authors.

OK, this one has got to be one of the greatest grandpa picture books ever. By the son of the famous writer Sid Fleischman, Paul Fleischman.

This one is now a fall tradition as well. It has a wondrous photo of people using hollowed out giant pumpkin shells as canoes. Amazing!

My boys loves Nathan Hale books. They are definite treasures! I plan on getting the whole series to own. Here is more about why these books are so great, especially for boys.

For my two scholars’ Pyramid class. My sis-in-law hates the book. I haven’t read it so can’t say, but I probably wouldn’t like it.

For my family’s All Saints’ Day/Heroween celebration. I listened on the Gospel Library App. It’s so fascinating.

For my two scholars’ Georgics class. I will take any excuse to listen to this book. We listened every morning on the way to Commonwealth. It takes me back to my teen years in the 80s. I found even more beautiful phrases than I even remembering it having!

I have fallen in love with Lois Lowry after reading Strawberry Girl. I’m delighted to find her whole series of old-fashioned children growing up in different regions in America. Go here to learn more.

We finally finished the above one which we started last school year.

For my Sword Class, a LEMI Scholar Project on the War of Northern Aggression. It’s so sad that the name “Uncle Tom” has come to be negative. Uncle Tom is one of the most beautiful, Christian characters in all of literature. I definitely felt the Holy Spirit while reading this book.

For my Commonwealth (homeschool co-op) parents’ book club. Chockful of parenting and mentoring gems. But sometimes I needed a break from it. It’s like eating sweetened raw whipped cream from grass-fed cows, so nutrient-dense, I just can’t keep consuming it!

This is for my two scholar teens’ Georgics class. I remember reading it aloud years ago to the older kids. It’s one of those books that you know is good but after you get into it, you wonder when it’s going to be over. It keeps going on and on…

The next few are with my husband and children for family devotional each morning:

Ok the rest were just for me, just for fun:

This one was for my moms’ class at my Commonwealth, by my friend Audrey. You can get it here. It’s sooo good!

For my book club. I started the regular version on scribd in audio format. The language– ugh! Get the young readers’ version so you can get the great tale of heroic fatherhood without all the dirty language and the attempted extramarital affair.

This is brand new. I’m listening on Audible. A welcome respite when all my other reading/listening got too heavy. Or when I was struggling to dejunk my schoolroom and just couldn’t take any more of Little Men.

For my online book club. I’m struggling with it. The plot is so long and complicated. Still working on it.

I’m still basking in the glow of memories from the Royal Simulation that I attended in Utah two weeks ago. We made a quick trip (as in four days) from AZ back to Utah, then back to AZ, so that my 14 year old son could attend (pictured above) with his 18 year old brother (pictured below).

This is something my three older kids did every year when we lived in Utah. As so often is the case, my middle child, the 18 year old, got left out. We moved to AZ the year he turned 14 so he didn’t go that year or the next three years while living in AZ. This event was the first and last time he could go. He’s been living in Utah since he graduated from homeschooling last spring, so it was easy for him to attend this year. Here are some pics from previous years that I have shared, 2012 is here and 2011 is here.

A big shout-out to the wonderful Amy and Von Hansen of the Royal Academy of Zion who host this event every year in Utah County. This was the 11th year and it was the best one yet, as far as I can tell.

It was a trip down memory lane for me for sure. I got to see some dear family, like my mom and dad, my 21 year old son, my mother-in-law, and dear friends. I also attended the Mount Timp Temple, which I remember touring during the open house season, prior to its dedication, with my two oldest children as babies. The temple session was especially amazing because my 21-year-old attended with me.

My 21 year old also attended the Royal Ball that culminated the event. At the ball, each of my sons asked me to dance without any prompting from me. That’s enough for any mama’s heart to melt! I’m so grateful I got to go. I drove up with a friend and her daughter, and then another friend’s daughter. A bonus surprise was a quick visit with my brother, his wife, and daughter. My brother and his wife live in Virginia and had come for a visit to see their daughter who is at BYU. That was facilitated by my friend’s car’s battery dying, which caused a three hour delay, before we headed back on Sunday. That allowed me to visit with them. I think God orchestrated that.

I love that the event was in the grand ballroom on the third floor of the Provo City Library in the historical Brigham Young Academy building. I have spent many delightful hours in that building, hunting down books full of wonder and also conducting meetings for breastfeeding moms.  It’s so elegant! The young women each got a tiara and the young men each got a manly-looking ring, chunky, like the Superbowl Ring.

I wish every youth could attend a ball like this, instead of prom. The youth get instructions on manners, etiquette, how to converse, how to ask to go on a date, how to behave on a date, and how to behave in concert settings and at a formal dinner. They also got instructions in ballroom dancing before the Ball.

The ballroom is just down the hall from Room #308, where I used to facilitate La Leche League meetings as a La Leche League Leader. That happened for many years, when I lived in Provo, right after this glorious edifice was renovated. Oh the memories of the meetings! Just imagine all the breastfeeding joys and woes the walls of this room have heard in 15+ years: from the prosaic sore breasts, to the intoxicating breastfeeding high to the exotic supernumerary nipples. I wonder if any LLL meetings have ever been held in such an elegant, historic room?  After all, this room is in the historic building that used to be Brigham Young Academy. While living in Provo as a young mom and grad of BYU, I was happy to see the Provo community rally round to rescue this building from its dilapidated state, restoring it to what I suppose is beyond its former beauty. When I was a BYU student, the building looked like a haunted house, with crumbling bricks, spider webs, and broken windows. Now it looks like this. The ballroom and Room #308 are on the top floor.

Photo Credit: http://abc.eznettools.net/byhigh/History/BrighamYoungStatue/BrighamYoungStatue.html

Here are pics of that room. Just imagine all the breastfeeding joys and woes the walls of this room have heard in 15+ years: from the prosaic sore breasts, to the intoxicating breastfeeding high, to the exotic supernumerary nipples. My long-time girlfriend Becky, who used to be an LLL Leader as well, says that LLL meetings are still held there.

I had such a wonderful time! My son and the girls we traveled with are already talking about going next year! My self-declared redneck son went reluctantly, but after it was over he said he had the time of his life! It was totally worth the 14 hour drive, which involved missing a good night’s sleep so we could drive during the night and get there on time,  by Friday afternoon, after I let my son go to his Thursday night football game. At first it seemed like such a fantastical, impossible dream to make it there. I pushed through the obstacles , with encouragement from my two older sons. I am so thrilled that I did!

It did my heart soooo much good to be in touch with a huge dose of the good, the beautiful, the refined and the elegant. All of this showed up in the forms of classic music (classical, like waltzes, a polka, but also “classic” pop),  young ladies graced by pretty hair and ball gowns, and handsome young men in suits or tuxedos. These young men were eager to please, and so chivalrous.

One of the trees in my parents’ yard.

Ahh, it was so refreshing. My eyes feasted on beautiful sights of the ball, as well as the vivid images of fall, as in yellow and orange leaves. We don’t get that until like December down here, and even then, the leaves are more brown than yellow.

Pic taken through a car window as we drove through southern Utah two years ago. It was the same time of year as this trip so the leaves were the same.

Dreams do come true, this trip affirmed it for me! God is in the details of your life, so don’t give up on God. He will never give up on you, and He will help you get your righteous dreams.

In my recent Come, Follow Me study, I read this phrase from the Bible, in Colossians 4:6:

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”

What does that mean, “speech seasoned with salt”?

To get a clue, I looked up the word “salt” in Hebrew. In the process I also found out that salt is a symbol of purity and covenants. Ahh! That gave me insight. When we speak, or give speech, we are to talk about our covenants. That is what seasons our speech, or makes it interesting. As we speak, reverently of course, about our covenants, our two-way promises with God, with each other, and how we have been blessed by keeping these covenants, we will inspire others.

I know I benefit greatly when I hear others tell of promises they have made with God. Part of walking the covenant path is offering gifts to God, in the form of promises and commitments. For, example, Elder Enzio Busche searched for the true church of Jesus Christ. He searched for this church in post-WWII Germany for four years.

Finally, he promised God that if God would show him the true church of Jesus Christ, he would join that church, even if it had a history of persecution. Two weeks later, missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day SaintsChurch of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints showed up on his doorstep. He investigated the Church for two years and then got baptized. I love his story! It’s the epitome of the Hero’s Journey turned into the Covenant Path. You can read it here. The longer version is here.

I love that Elder Ballard recently, on a ministry trip to New England, called on American Saints and fellow citizens to remember that America was founded by believers in Jesus Christ. That’s what the video above is from. He said:

“I plead with you this evening to pray for this country, for our leaders, for our people and for the families that live in this great nation founded by God. Remember, this country was established and preserved by our founding fathers and mothers who repeatedly acknowledged the hand of God through prayer.” I can’t help but think that these “founding fathers and mothers” were covenantal believers who made individualized covenants with God according to the light they had at the time. For a thorough treatment of this topic, read this book by Timothy Ballard.

Then here is another covenantal story of a woman, Nancy Hilton, who marred into my husband’s extended family.

We have been so blessed by the legacy of people who have made and kept covenants. Let us continue the chain and not be a weak link, as President Hinckley admonished.

This song! I just discovered it, so blessedly, a few weeks ago.  It stirs up all sorts of joys in me. It sounds like Christmas, tastes like chocolate, and feels like I’m rolling around in a million dollars!  It just sounds so luxuriously rich! It makes me want to join an orchestra just so I can be part of a great swell playing it. I do plan on joining an orchestra again someday and I will request we perform this song.

Here it is in PDF. I love playing it on the piano!

I discovered a scripture recently that relates to this song. In my recent reading of the Bible for Come, Follow Me, I studied the verse about becoming new in Christ, from Colossians 3:9-10:

9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

I studied the word “new” in Hebrew. I was delighted to see that in Hebrew it is “chadesh,” which is one letter different from the Hebrew word for holy “qodesh.” I don’t think that is a coincidence. Being new and being holy are similar concepts. To be truly holy, we must be new in Christ. They both involve Hebrew letters which are symbolized by a doorway, to mean “humilty,” and teeth, to symbolize “digestion/internalization.”

The song, “Ring the Bells of Heaven,” is about a wild son returning to his father, the Prodigal Son, I presume. I used to think that that story was far removed from me. Now I realize that it applies to me in every moment. Every moment gives me the opportunity to be a Prodigal Son, that is, to be worldly-focused. Every moment also gives me the opportunity to be focused on God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Jim Cox calls this “becoming spiritually centered.” When I feel the pull to be frustrated, to give up hope, to be angry and unforgiving, that is the pull of the wiley and wild Enemy. Those are old habits I have been used to returning to. Christ invites me to a new way. This new way appears in every moment as well.  I can resist old habits and choose the new, and return “from the wild,” to the Father. I was taught by Jim Cox that I can do this by silently affirming the truth. in the form of a prayer, that I am His daughter, and He loves me with infinite perfect love. When I see other people as children of God as well, and affirm that truth in my mind as well, in silent prayer, especially if I’m being treated poorly, I can choose the “new wo(man)” and return from the wild to the Father.

Truly the bells are ringing for us when we turn to God in any and each moment.

So it’s past midnight and I’m driving home (that is, riding in a car while someone else is driving, I promise I’m being safe!) from Utah after being there for not even all of two days. A sweet time was had by all. My band of travelers includes my 15-year-old, a friend, her sixteen year-old-daughter, and another 15-year-old.

I packed a lot into this whirlwind trip: helping at the youth event I brought the youth for, visiting with my out-of-nest adult sons, visiting with my parents and mother in law, and going to the temple with one of my sons.

I got a serendipitous discovery from an odd situation. Serendipity also emerged in the form of a visit with my brother and his wife, who live in Virginia, as well as some dear homeschool friends. It was a homecoming of sorts.

Here are some images from the trip. God is so good to help create this trip for us! My heart is full! My son said he had the time of his life. I’m so glad I sacrificed to make the trek. It was a mini Hero’s Journey, complete with tests, traps, and trials.

This was one of my favorite talks from the last General Conference. Elder Uchtdorf describes the Hero Journey on the Covenant Path, using The Hobbit as an example. So cool!